Using bribes to discipline children is very common. Why? Because it is very effective. Promising your toddler a toy or treat if he stops crying can automatically stop a stressful and embarrassing situation with your child. However, bribes only work for a short time and the more you bribe your toddler, the more your toddler will feel like he has the “upper hand”. Plus, his motivation to behave and do well is only driven by rewards, threats and ultimatums, and not because he wants to be good without expecting something in return. Here is a guide on how to discipline a child without using bribes.

Keep Your Emotions In Check

Children love testing their parents’ buttons. When this happens, it is hard to manage one’s reaction, so parents use bribes to make their children follow them. However, it is very important for parents to keep their cool so they can better get their children’s cooperation naturally with quiet authority. So the next time you feel like bribing your toddler, stop, count to ten and take deep breaths before you open your mouth again.

Identify and Eliminate Triggers

Instead of thinking how you can get your little one to behave in the heat of the moment which often results to bribing, find out what sets off your toddler’s bad behaviour. For instance, if he gets cranky every time you bring him to the supermarket, leave him at home with a relative or babysitter. If he does not want to eat dinner, do not give him snacks an hour before dinner time. Plan your days according to your toddler’s mood so that your little one has every chance to behave fittingly.

Find The Root of The Problem and Possible Solutions

If your toddler refuses to sleep in his bed, talk to your toddler first instead of bribing him right away. Maybe the reason why he does not want to sleep in his bed is because he is afraid of the dark or he does not want his bed near the window. Once you have figured out the problem, solve it. Plug in a nightlight or stick glow in the dark wall decals. Move his bed away from the window. If you take the time to figure out what is making your child anxious, you can resolve the problem easily without resorting to bribes.

Allow Your Toddler To Learn From His Consequences

Children need to understand there are consequences for their actions, good and bad. If your toddler continues to play with his food after you told him to stop, do not say “Baby, if you finish your food you can have dessert.”., instead, ask him to leave the table and only come back once he is ready to eat. At the same time, praise your toddler after he does something good. This will teach your toddler that good behaviour has good consequences which will motivate him to behave on his own and the need to use bribes is no longer necessary.

Disciplining children without bribing teaches children to think for themselves and to rely on their inner beacons which will help them flourish in life.