Archive | Toddler Siblings

Sibling Rivalry – How To Deal With Favoritism Among Toddlers

Sibling rivalry is a big concern. When parents play favorites among their toddlers, it can be damaging in many areas of a child’s life. Here are some tips to help you deal with favoritism to ensure you are not leaving one toddler feeling he is second fiddle in your family.

Never Compare

“David can recite the alphabet, what is your problem?”. “David does not play with his food, why cannot you be like your brother?” These types of comparison discourage a sibling from even trying since he feels he always comes up short, unlike the “golden child”. Favoritism generally involves comparing one child to another, which is not fair. Comparing your toddlers to determine if one is better than the other can cause a build-up of anger and self-esteem issues. Remember, no two people are alike. Know that they are both individuals, with different personalities and talents.

Praise Each Toddler

If your toddler accomplished something, shower him the praises that he deserves. Children are sensitive and they will notice if their parents are giving all the praises to their siblings. They all have something they are good at. So even if your toddler is not good at sports as compared to his sibling but he is good at math, commend that skill.

Watch Your Mouth

Be wary of the words that you say to your toddlers. Certain words can leave your children feeling useless, which greatly affects their confidence. Bear in mind that once you say something, you can never take back your words.

Never Take Sides

It is very normal for children to fight, so as much as possible, try not to meddle in their bickering. Also, do not reprimand one child as this will not be fair for both your children. So the next time your toddlers fight over a toy, reprimand the two of them and give them the same consequence, regardless of who is right and wrong.

Stop Turning Everything Into A Competition

“Let me see who can swim better”, “First one to the car wins” or “First one to finish their homework gets to watch TV.” Sure, it is just a game or these statements may sound very ordinary, but it will bite you back. Toddlers confuse winning contests with winning their parents affection and appreciation. It does not really matter who is better. Encourage each child to hone their own talents.

Spend Time With Your Toddlers Individually

While spending time as a family is important, one-on-one time with each of your toddler is also needed. This is the best way to show them that you love and appreciate them. If your little one loves spending time outdoors, visit a museum or zoo or take him with you to the grocery. If the other loves to do arts and crafts, work on a puzzle together or have him help you prepare dinner.

Use these techniques to help you avoid showing favoritism so you can produce children who are happy, confident and assured.

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How To Stop Your Twin Toddlers From Fighting

Are your twin toddlers constantly on a battle? Twins do share a close bond but it does not stop them from fighting, and when twins fight, a simple “shhh” or “stop” will not suffice. Here are some tips to help relieve this problem.

Remove The Source of Disputes

Know the source of squabbles. Is it a particular toy? TV show? Clothing? Food? Once you have determined the root of the problem, remove it. As the popular adage goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.”. You will be surprised to find your twins playing peacefully together when the cause of their fight is nowhere in sight.

Make Sure They Eat and Take Naps On Time

Twin toddlers will take out their annoyance out on one another especially if they are sleepy or hungry. To minimize fighting, see to it that each of them eats on time and that they do not miss their nap time. Remember that a full and well-rested toddler equals a happy and peaceful environment.

Let Them Make Their Own Choices

Yes, dressing up twins in the same clothes from head to toe may be cute. However, some twin toddlers do not like it resulting for them to start a fight. Twins have their own unique identities so help them establish it by giving them their freedom to make choices. For example, if you are preparing them for a trip to grandma’s house, instead of choosing t-shirts and shorts in the same color, ask toddler A what he wants to wear and do the same for toddler B.

Offer Variations

On the other hand, if they like the same things, buying only one item for them and expecting them to share it nicely is definitely not going to happen. Give them slight variations of things instead of buying two same things. Buy a backpack in varying colors, blue for toddler A and black for toddler B or purchase a coloring book with animal pictures for toddler A and a car-themed coloring book for toddler B. This will reduce fights effectively and encourage them to swap their things.

Do Something They Enjoy

Find one thing that makes them both giggle or happy and do it. If they squeal with laughter each time you make funny faces in the mirror, do it. If your twins love playing in the park, then go to the park every afternoon. When they are both laughing, they will both look at each other with loving eyes. Twins have a strong, loving bond, nourish that.

Schedule A One-on-One Time

Sometimes, twin toddlers fight because of two reasons – they are always together or they are competing for your attention. Set a few hours every day for each one of them. Have someone babysit toddler A when you are with toddler B and vice versa. During the day, you can help toddler A finish his puzzle or let him accompany you to the grocery store. In the afternoon, read a book with toddler B or allow him to help you prepare dinner. Doing this will reassure them that you love them equally. Plus, the time away from each other allows them to miss one another so when they are together, they can share their own adventures without hearing a scream.

Place Them On A Time Out

If your twins are at each others throats even after you have warned them, stop the fight by placing them on a time out. Separate them into different rooms and let them stew for a minute or two. The time out will help them relax so they can process their emotions accordingly.

Twins are at the same developmental stage which makes fighting a common issue. They are learning their life lessons and limitations at the very same time and being in their position is not easy. Keep your calm, stay composed and be fair so you can effectively minimize the fights once and for all.

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Helping Your Toddler Prepare For A Newborn

Welcoming a new baby may be a joyous time for you and your husband, but for your toddler, it may mean a lot of unwanted changes especially since he has been the star of the family for some time. It is important that he understands this transition. Read on for tips on how you can help your toddler prepare for a newborn.

Introduce Your Toddler To Your Unborn Baby

Explain to your little one that inside mommy’s tummy is a tiny baby boy or girl that he can play with. Introducing your toddler to your unborn baby allows your toddler to adjust with the changes without feeling pressured. Let him stroke your tummy or let him come near your tummy so he can hear the baby and feel the baby kick. This way, your toddler can start developing a feeling of anticipation and gradual acceptance that the family will welcome a new bundle of joy in the coming months.

Tell Stories

Tell your toddler what a baby is like. Toddlers love stories and one of the best ways to prepare your toddler is by sharing stories of when he was still inside your womb and what he was like when he was a baby. Show him his ultrasound photos and his baby pictures. Let him know that as a baby, he used to cry, eat and sleep a lot and that he looked so adorable each time he tried raising his leg so he can reach his toes. The little details will keep your toddler aware what a baby will be like and since this is also a new milestone in his life, this will fascinate and excite him.

Ask For His Help

Involve your toddler when preparing for your new baby’s arrival. Seek his advice. Let him accompany you when you shop for baby items. Allow him to choose the color of the clothes he wants the baby to wear. Give him a task at home. Assign him to put all of the baby’s clothes in the drawer. Put him in charge of counting baby bottles. Asking for your toddler’s participation shows him that you value his opinion and that even if a new baby is coming, your love for him will remain unconditional.

Surround Him With Friends

Invite your friends with babies and toddlers his age to your house. Have him play with your neighbors’ kids more often. If he is old enough, enroll him in a day care center. This gives your little one time to bond with his peers who may have siblings. This will also serve as an eye-opener that while the spotlight may not be centered solely on him anymore, everything is still perfectly fine and it will not hurt to share the attention with others.

Let Him Pick Out A Present

Have him buy the baby a special present. Or get crafty and let him make a banner, collage, drawing or anything that will serve as his welcome present. Your little one can give it to the baby on the day of the birth. Be sure to buy one for him as well, from the new baby.

Spend One On One Time With Him

Set an alone time a few minutes each day with your toddler. Use this time to focus on your toddler and stop doing anything baby-related for the mean time. Help him finish his jigsaw puzzle, prepare his favorite food, talk and cuddle. This time will make him feel special and assure him you are his mommy and he is your baby.

To allow your toddler to welcome the new baby with open arms, he must be emotionally ready. Prepare your toddler as early as possible to make the transition easier for the whole family.

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How to Deal With Toddler Sibling Rivalry

Your toddler has grown accustomed to getting 100% attention of the people around him. But, when a new bundle of joy comes into the world, a different story unfolds. Sibling rivalry is natural to children. After all, your little one still does not know how to process his mixed emotions. Hence, it is your responsibility to help your toddler. Spot the problem areas. Secure him with your love and build a strong foundation for a good lasting relationship.

Generally, sibling rivalry takes place when you have two or more children. Since your children are constantly battling over your affection, you need to be wary of your actions. Giving them equal love and attention will minimize jealousy and apprehension. To help you, here are some tips on effectively managing sibling rivalry in toddlers.

Eliminating Sibling Rivalry

Never Make Comparisons

This one is a killer. Judging your toddler against his other siblings is a big no-no in every parenting book. Each individual is unique and so is your toddler. He has his own set of traits that make him who he is. Appreciate his good qualities. Give ample positive reinforcement. Talk about his weaknesses in a calm, firm and gentle manner. Remember, do not evaluate him by comparing him to someone else. Instead, give him goals and levels of expectation that only relates to him. This will eliminate the thought of favoritism on his mind.

Listen

Sibling rivalry can be sorted out easily just by listening to your toddler. When your little one knows you care enough to listen to what he has to say, most probably his insecurity will go away. So the next time your toddler makes a heated remark about his sibling, give him time and let him vent. Do not reprimand him. By doing so, he is able to properly process emotions on his own. And by the time he calms down, he will feel sorry about it and make amends with you and his sibling.

Hold Weekly Dates

One on one time with your toddler asserts him of your love and affection. To make your children stop their battles, set a day each week wherein you can give your undivided attention to each of your child. For your eldest child, a fun afternoon in the amusement park, eating ice cream in his favorite store or watching a movie together will do. For your youngest, you can simply play with him in the playground or do fun activities (e.g. arts and crafts, painting, drawing, puppet shows, etc.) at home while his older toddler is in school.

Let Them Work Together

The next time you assign your toddler a household chore, task him to do it together with his sibling. Let your older toddler read books to his younger brother. During play time, encourage them to work as a team. When doing household chores, let your youngest assist his older brother in cleaning his room. Most often, what toddlers need is teamwork. Once they know how to work with each other, they are able to compromise better. Plus, it gives your eldest child a clear idea that every family member is equally treated in the house.

Give Your Toddlers Space

As much as your toddlers need bonding time together and with the family, it is also very important to allow each of your toddlers their own quality time. Each of them needs adequate time to be on their own, with mommy and daddy and with their friends. Space provides them balance. It allows them to find their own individuality and strengthen their character which impacts how effective they bond with each other.

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