Having twins is extra special. They have formed a special bond right before you conceived them. While this type of bond is wonderful, it is very imperative for you to establish individual identities when raising twins so they know they are separate people.

Call Each Toddler By His Name

Parents, relatives and friends often have a tendency of calling twins, “the twins”, “the girls” or “the boys”. Technically, there is nothing wrong with those terms. But, it can make your twin toddlers feel they are unappreciated as individuals. Make it a point to call them by their names. Also, try to change the order of their names when you call them. For example, if you frequently say “Dan and David”, jumble it up and call them “David and Dan” every now and then. This way, you avoid making one twin feel he is always second best.

Never Compare

It is not unusual for parents to praise the twin who walks first, eats faster or reads earlier than the other. Remember, twins may share the same birthday but that does not mean they grow at the same rate. Avoid labeling one twin as “the strong one” just because he does not cry more often than the other. Labels can be very lethal as it will strip your toddler’s confidence and make him feel weak. Respect each twin’s attributes and flaws.

Do Not Dress Your Twins Alike

Twin babies look really cute when they wear matching clothes. But once they enter toddlerhood, dressing them identically will not encourage individuality. Allow each toddler to choose his own clothes. If toddler A wants to wear a jumper while toddler B prefers t-shirt and shorts, let them. This will help your twin toddlers explore their tastes and show off their unique characteristics.

Give Each Twin His Own Stuff

When your toddlers start growing up, sharing becomes an issue. They will want their own things, so never force them to share. There are some things they can share (e.g. stroller, bouncy seat) while there are other things they should call their own (bed, sippy cup, plate, clothes, toys, etc.).

Support Their Interests

In order to raise twins with individual identities, it is very important to encourage them to follow their individual interests, hobbies or sports. Just because they are twins, does not mean they have to do things together all the time. If one twin loves playing the piano, enroll him in a piano class and the other can take dance classes to polish his dancing skills. This will give them personal space and time to flourish as an individual.

Have One-on-One Time

It is good to spend time with your twins. But, having one-on-one time with each toddler is essential so you can create and strengthen your relationship with each twin. For instance, you can take toddler A to the park, do an activity, cuddle or talk in the morning while you can spend the afternoon reading a book, playing or going to the zoo with toddler B.

Commend Your Twins Individually

Give the other twin a hug for making his bed and the other a kiss for putting his toys away. Cook their favorite foods when they do something good. This will teach them to feel confident in their own skills and will reassure them that they are seen as individuals, rather than just “the twins”.

Always bear in mind that twins are not a package deal. They may look and act alike, but they have their own personality which you have to love and nurture so they can blossom into fine individuals.

Potty training a toddler is challenging enough, but when you have twins, it means double the work and double the trouble. But as daunting as it may seem, potty training twins can actually be fun. Check out the tips below.

Look For Signs of Readiness

The best time to potty train toddlers is when they are ready. You know your toddlers are ready when they - show an interest when others use the toilet, want to wear “big kid” underwear, are uncomfortable wearing diapers and are able to go for a long period of time (30 minutes to an hour) without wetting their diapers.

However, do remember that there is a possibility that your twins may not be ready at the same time. If that is the case, never push the unprepared toddler as this will only create power struggle. But, chances are, when the unprepared twin sees the other use the potty, it can motivate the other twin to try it as well.

Buy Two Potties

A potty seat is something twins cannot share. Do get two potties so that both toddlers have their own. Have each toddler pick his favorite and let your twins adorn them with stickers so they know whose is whose and your twins get more thrilled about using them.

Introduce The Potty

One way to potty train your twins is to introduce the potty to them. Demonstrate how it should be used. Let them watch a video or read books about potty training. This will motivate your twin toddlers to try and it will show them that using the potty is normal and fun.

Keep Your Twins On A Same Schedule

Yes, twins have different personalities, but it is important to get them in sync. This is the easiest and most effective approach to potty train them. For instance, when toddler A feels the urge to pee, bring toddler B to the bathroom and encourage him to pee as well. You may use a timer and set it for 15 minutes or so. This way, you will not be rushing one twin and then the other to the toilet.

Do Not Make Comparisons

If toddler A is training more quickly than toddler B, do not compare toddler B to toddler A. Even if you are doing this to encourage toddler B, it might make him feel bad and strengthen feelings of jealousy and rivalry.

Be Flexible

Understand that potty training is no easy task. So expect accidents, messes, fussing and giving constant reminders. Just be patient. Ask for reinforcement from your spouse, mom or cousin to help prevent mishaps. Also, even if you have established a successful potty training routine, be ready to try different methods for other times.

Give Praise

Praise your twins each time they pee or poop in the potty. Give them a round of applause, a hug, kiss or a pat on the back. Sing or dance a potty song. Let them choose underwear they like and let them wear it as a reward for using the potty.

Keep in mind that potty training is a momentary transition. Your twins will eventually learn to use the toilet. So show your love, try not to stress it out and enjoy the process. Years from now, you will look back on this experience, laugh your heart out and think “What was the big deal?”.

Are your twin toddlers constantly on a battle? Twins do share a close bond but it does not stop them from fighting, and when twins fight, a simple “shhh” or “stop” will not suffice. Here are some tips to help relieve this problem.

Remove The Source of Disputes

Know the source of squabbles. Is it a particular toy? TV show? Clothing? Food? Once you have determined the root of the problem, remove it. As the popular adage goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.”. You will be surprised to find your twins playing peacefully together when the cause of their fight is nowhere in sight.

Make Sure They Eat and Take Naps On Time

Twin toddlers will take out their annoyance out on one another especially if they are sleepy or hungry. To minimize fighting, see to it that each of them eats on time and that they do not miss their nap time. Remember that a full and well-rested toddler equals a happy and peaceful environment.

Let Them Make Their Own Choices

Yes, dressing up twins in the same clothes from head to toe may be cute. However, some twin toddlers do not like it resulting for them to start a fight. Twins have their own unique identities so help them establish it by giving them their freedom to make choices. For example, if you are preparing them for a trip to grandma’s house, instead of choosing t-shirts and shorts in the same color, ask toddler A what he wants to wear and do the same for toddler B.

Offer Variations

On the other hand, if they like the same things, buying only one item for them and expecting them to share it nicely is definitely not going to happen. Give them slight variations of things instead of buying two same things. Buy a backpack in varying colors, blue for toddler A and black for toddler B or purchase a coloring book with animal pictures for toddler A and a car-themed coloring book for toddler B. This will reduce fights effectively and encourage them to swap their things.

Do Something They Enjoy

Find one thing that makes them both giggle or happy and do it. If they squeal with laughter each time you make funny faces in the mirror, do it. If your twins love playing in the park, then go to the park every afternoon. When they are both laughing, they will both look at each other with loving eyes. Twins have a strong, loving bond, nourish that.

Schedule A One-on-One Time

Sometimes, twin toddlers fight because of two reasons – they are always together or they are competing for your attention. Set a few hours every day for each one of them. Have someone babysit toddler A when you are with toddler B and vice versa. During the day, you can help toddler A finish his puzzle or let him accompany you to the grocery store. In the afternoon, read a book with toddler B or allow him to help you prepare dinner. Doing this will reassure them that you love them equally. Plus, the time away from each other allows them to miss one another so when they are together, they can share their own adventures without hearing a scream.

Place Them On A Time Out

If your twins are at each others throats even after you have warned them, stop the fight by placing them on a time out. Separate them into different rooms and let them stew for a minute or two. The time out will help them relax so they can process their emotions accordingly.

Twins are at the same developmental stage which makes fighting a common issue. They are learning their life lessons and limitations at the very same time and being in their position is not easy. Keep your calm, stay composed and be fair so you can effectively minimize the fights once and for all.