Tag Archive | "how to avoid favoritism among children"

Sibling Rivalry – How To Deal With Favoritism Among Toddlers

Sibling rivalry is a big concern. When parents play favorites among their toddlers, it can be damaging in many areas of a child’s life. Here are some tips to help you deal with favoritism to ensure you are not leaving one toddler feeling he is second fiddle in your family.

Never Compare

“David can recite the alphabet, what is your problem?”. “David does not play with his food, why cannot you be like your brother?” These types of comparison discourage a sibling from even trying since he feels he always comes up short, unlike the “golden child”. Favoritism generally involves comparing one child to another, which is not fair. Comparing your toddlers to determine if one is better than the other can cause a build-up of anger and self-esteem issues. Remember, no two people are alike. Know that they are both individuals, with different personalities and talents.

Praise Each Toddler

If your toddler accomplished something, shower him the praises that he deserves. Children are sensitive and they will notice if their parents are giving all the praises to their siblings. They all have something they are good at. So even if your toddler is not good at sports as compared to his sibling but he is good at math, commend that skill.

Watch Your Mouth

Be wary of the words that you say to your toddlers. Certain words can leave your children feeling useless, which greatly affects their confidence. Bear in mind that once you say something, you can never take back your words.

Never Take Sides

It is very normal for children to fight, so as much as possible, try not to meddle in their bickering. Also, do not reprimand one child as this will not be fair for both your children. So the next time your toddlers fight over a toy, reprimand the two of them and give them the same consequence, regardless of who is right and wrong.

Stop Turning Everything Into A Competition

“Let me see who can swim better”, “First one to the car wins” or “First one to finish their homework gets to watch TV.” Sure, it is just a game or these statements may sound very ordinary, but it will bite you back. Toddlers confuse winning contests with winning their parents affection and appreciation. It does not really matter who is better. Encourage each child to hone their own talents.

Spend Time With Your Toddlers Individually

While spending time as a family is important, one-on-one time with each of your toddler is also needed. This is the best way to show them that you love and appreciate them. If your little one loves spending time outdoors, visit a museum or zoo or take him with you to the grocery. If the other loves to do arts and crafts, work on a puzzle together or have him help you prepare dinner.

Use these techniques to help you avoid showing favoritism so you can produce children who are happy, confident and assured.

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