Categorized | Parenting, Parenting Tips

Co-parenting – How To Raise Children Successfully

Co-parenting is a parenting situation where the parents are not in a marriage but still seeks to maintain equal responsibility for the child’s upbringing. Co-parenting is good since it keeps both parents in a child’s life. However, in order for it to be successful, it must be done correctly. Here are some ways on how to raise children through co-parenting successfully.

Separate Feelings From Behaviour

It is okay to be hurt and mad, but you should never trash talk your ex. You might think that your 4-year old toddler is not listening or cannot understand, but he probably is digesting your words. Never vent your frustrations to your toddler and keep your negative emotions at bay. Focus on your child instead. Prioritize your toddler’s interests.

In addition, never make your toddler feel that he has to choose between mommy and daddy or make him your messenger as this puts your toddler in the center of your conflict. You and your ex-spouse both have equal rights. If you need to tell the other parent something, talk to your ex yourself.

Communicate With Your Ex

Communication with your ex is imperative to the success of co-parenting. Keep in mind that you are doing this for your toddler’s well-being. You do not have to be friends with your ex to do this. Just compromise so the two of you can meet halfway. Make requests and listen. Establish rules (e.g. when, where and how often the other parent can visit your toddler, if your child can stay over the other parent’s home over the weekend, parenting style, discipline, schedule, etc.). By raising your toddler with consistency, you help make the transition easier from home to home.

Create A Leaving and Returning Routine

Moving from one household to another can strain a toddler. This transition is a major change in your child’s reality. But there are many things you can do to help your toddler adjust with this set-up. When your toddler leaves your home for your ex’s, help him anticipate change by reminding your toddler that he will be staying in the other parent’s house for a day or two. Be positive about it and reassure him that he will have a lot of fun. Help him pack his bag. Packing comfort items like a favorite stuffed toy or a photograph will make your little one more at ease. Drop off your toddler at the other parent’s house.

When your toddler returns, keep things low key by establishing a special “return” routine. Read a book together, cook him his favorite food or talk about his short trip. If he knows what to expect when he leaves and returns to you, the transition will be successful.

Give Your Toddler Space

When two people decide to divorce, the children are the ones who suffer the most. Thus, a child needs a little time to adjust to the change. Give your toddler his own space at home. Create a spot where he can do things on his own without distractions. In time, things will go back to normal.

Affirm Your Love

Most importantly, see to it that you assure your toddler that mommy and daddy still and will always love him even if mommy and daddy are no longer together. Sometimes, children with divorced parents feel like they are responsible for the split-up so ensure that you and the other parent shower your toddler with love and affection.

Co-parenting is a challenge. But, with your dedication and focused attention, you can build a successful co-parenting relationship so you and the other parent can raise a happy and healthy toddler together.

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August 2014
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