Categorized | Parenting, Toddler Discipline

How To Discipline A Child Without Spanking

Spanking does not equal to discipline. In fact, positive discipline techniques are more effective than any kind of force. Here are some tips on how to discipline a child without using your hands.

Keep Calm

It is very easy to spank your toddler if you feel angry and out of control. But, doing this will only make you feel guilty and your little one resentful. As much as possible, leave the situation if you can. Take a time-out for yourself and go somewhere peaceful to think, read or take a walk. The quiet time alone will help you find a better alternative or solution other than spanking. If you cannot leave the situation, then mentally step back, count to ten and breathe in and breathe out.


Once you think you have cooled down, talk to your toddler in a firm and gentle manner. Get down on your toddler’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and explain to your little one why he is wrong. Your little one is more likely to hear what you have to say when you are calm rather than shouting.


Teach instead of punishing your toddler. Remember that actions speak louder than words so show your toddler how to do things right. For instance, if he leaves his toys scattered in the living room, say “When you leave your toys scattered in the living room, someone can step on them or someone can trip on them. Let us gather your toys and put them in the cabinet.”.

Give Choices

Giving a toddler a choice is an effective option to spanking. If he is playing with his food at the table, ask “Do you want to eat your food or would you rather leave the table?”. If he continues to play with his food, let him leave the table. Tell him that he can return to the table when he is ready to eat. Most likely, he will go back to the table within a few minutes and start eating because he realized that his negative behaviour will not solicit any harsh reactions from you.

Use Consequences

Even if your toddler will not be physically punished for a wrong doing, he still needs to pay the price to learn. Give your toddler a time-out for biting his younger sister. Do not buy him a new toy after he kicked his teddy bear just because he does not want to take a nap. Yes you will feel bad when he cries, but you need to be firm. Remember, you are helping your child grow up to become a responsible person.

Give A Warning

If he answers back when you reprimand him, withdraw from conflict immediately. Do not give in to your anger and spank your toddler. Hitting models hitting so be a good example to your child. Just say in a firm voice, “I do not want to talk to you right now. Just talk to me when you can talk more respectfully.”.

Praise Good Behaviour

For example, if your toddler waits for his turn in the slide, tell him you are proud of him for patiently waiting for his turn and not pushing the other kids. He has to know you love and appreciate him. If he gets more attention for his positive behaviour rather than his misbehaviours, he will be more motivated to do well.

You can discipline your toddler without spanking. By being firm, open-minded and communicative, your toddler will be able to understand you clearly and you will be able to get your message across more effectively.

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