Feelings of guilt are natural in parenting. But, it will not do you or your child any good. Fortunately, there are methods you can follow on how to discipline a toddler that will not leave you feeling guilty.

Set Rules and Stick To Them

Just like everyone else, children need boundaries. Talk to your toddler about your rules. Make him understand them clearly. For instance, do not just say “You are not allowed to open the front door.”. You have to explain to him the possible dangers he will face once he goes out of the house on his own. It is very important that you are consistent in your discipline. Do not put your toddler on a time-out for pulling his sister’s hair and then disregard the same behaviour the next. If he knows what to expect from you, not only will he be less likely to misbehave but you will not feel so guilty when he does and when giving him a consequence.

Give Yourself A Time-out

It is very common for parents to start yelling when their children are unruly and then feel awful about it afterward. Whenever you are angry at your toddler, take a break, count to ten or go outside and come back when you have calmed down. Having a clear mind helps you make good decisions when disciplining your toddler and you are less tempted to react in a way that can hurt or frighten your toddler (e.g. spanking, using bad words).

Ignore It

Learn how to pick your battles. All too often, toddlers misbehave not because they are being rowdy but because they want to exercise their freedom. Choose not to get mad over small issues. Ignoring the tantrum or misbehaviour is the best way to discipline a toddler without the guilt, especially if you are in public. Just let it go and eventually, your little one will stop whatever he is doing once he realizes you will not give him any attention.

Cut Your Toddler Some Slack

Say “no” every time and your toddler will see you as a mean mommy. If your toddler threw his peas because he does not like his food, control yourself from reprimanding him. Let him have his way sometimes. After all, your child needs to make mistakes so he can learn what behaviours are acceptable and unacceptable. Plus, always telling your toddler what to do will only leave you feeling guilty.

Keep It Fun

You do not have to be strict to make your toddler obey you. Look for creative ways to enforce rules. For instance, if your toddler does not want to brush his teeth or make his bed, turn it into a game by setting an egg timer and tell him the target is to complete his task before the timer goes off.

Recognize Good Behaviour

Whenever your toddler behaves or does something good, provide positive reinforcement. If your little one cleaned his room without being asked, do not just praise and say “You did a good job honey! Mommy is going to buy you a new toy.”, but encourage - “That was so kind of you. Thank you baby!”. The latter gives encouragement to repeat the behaviour without expecting any reward.

Guilt-free discipline will make things much easier for you and your child. It will help your toddler misbehave a lot less and regain your proper train of thought.

Saying the word “no” can be very difficult when disciplining children. Children hate hearing it, parents hate saying it, but, it is necessary. Here are some effective ways on how to discipline a toddler by saying no.

Set Limits

First and foremost, you have to set clear, firm limits. Limits are imperative for children because they teach them what to expect about reality and how to be responsible and considerate. Setting limits will help children stay out of trouble and know their boundaries so they can become better balanced as they grow up. Talk to your child about his limits and consequences to make him aware. This will help avert outbursts each time you say no.

Give Options

Toddlers are at a stage in their lives when they want to exercise their freedom. Instead of saying no completely, give your toddler a choice. For instance, if your little one is playing with water in your kitchen, try saying “You can play with water in the bathroom or in the garden instead.”. By giving him choices, you are able to find a suitable diversion and help your toddler feel like he has some control over the situation, erasing the feeling that he is being controlled.

Use Alternatives

The word “no” has some mysterious effect on children that when they hear it, they immediately start crying and shouting. Experts strongly suggest parents to use the word “no” scarcely (for dangerous situations). Using alternatives to tell your toddler “no” is a more effective approach and will less likely cause drama.

For instance, if your little one wants to eat chocolates before dinnertime, instead of saying “No, you cannot have chocolates.”, say “Yes, but after you have finished eating dinner.”. If he wants a new toy that is quite expensive, say “Let me think about it.” or “Yes, but you have to pay for it.”. This will motivate him to earn the money for it (e.g. paying him to do household chores). Or, if your toddler wants to play video games, say “Not today honey.” or “If you finish your homework first, you can play video games.”.

Distract Your Toddler

Toddlers get easily distracted. For example, if your toddler wants to play with a glass, give him a rattle instead. Or if he wants a robot that is way over your budget, show him a cheaper robot and tell him how strong that robot is. Once his attention is diverted, move away from the temptation.

Mean It

Never explain why you have to say no to your toddler. This will only confuse him or give him a chance to persuade you or throw a tantrum. When you say “no”, be firm about it – give him “the look” (make eye contact) and say “no” in an authoritative voice. End of story.

Say Yes

It is okay to say yes every now and then. This way, you are able to strike a balance between yes and no which is very essential in teaching your toddler that the real world is full of yeses and nos.

Do not just say “no” automatically, let your toddler reason out. If you agree with your toddler, then, say “yes.”. If you say “no”, he will not feel so bad because he knows you listened to him.

Spanking does not equal to discipline. In fact, positive discipline techniques are more effective than any kind of force. Here are some tips on how to discipline a child without using your hands.

Keep Calm

It is very easy to spank your toddler if you feel angry and out of control. But, doing this will only make you feel guilty and your little one resentful. As much as possible, leave the situation if you can. Take a time-out for yourself and go somewhere peaceful to think, read or take a walk. The quiet time alone will help you find a better alternative or solution other than spanking. If you cannot leave the situation, then mentally step back, count to ten and breathe in and breathe out.

Explain

Once you think you have cooled down, talk to your toddler in a firm and gentle manner. Get down on your toddler’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and explain to your little one why he is wrong. Your little one is more likely to hear what you have to say when you are calm rather than shouting.

Teach

Teach instead of punishing your toddler. Remember that actions speak louder than words so show your toddler how to do things right. For instance, if he leaves his toys scattered in the living room, say “When you leave your toys scattered in the living room, someone can step on them or someone can trip on them. Let us gather your toys and put them in the cabinet.”.

Give Choices

Giving a toddler a choice is an effective option to spanking. If he is playing with his food at the table, ask “Do you want to eat your food or would you rather leave the table?”. If he continues to play with his food, let him leave the table. Tell him that he can return to the table when he is ready to eat. Most likely, he will go back to the table within a few minutes and start eating because he realized that his negative behaviour will not solicit any harsh reactions from you.

Use Consequences

Even if your toddler will not be physically punished for a wrong doing, he still needs to pay the price to learn. Give your toddler a time-out for biting his younger sister. Do not buy him a new toy after he kicked his teddy bear just because he does not want to take a nap. Yes you will feel bad when he cries, but you need to be firm. Remember, you are helping your child grow up to become a responsible person.

Give A Warning

If he answers back when you reprimand him, withdraw from conflict immediately. Do not give in to your anger and spank your toddler. Hitting models hitting so be a good example to your child. Just say in a firm voice, “I do not want to talk to you right now. Just talk to me when you can talk more respectfully.”.

Praise Good Behaviour

For example, if your toddler waits for his turn in the slide, tell him you are proud of him for patiently waiting for his turn and not pushing the other kids. He has to know you love and appreciate him. If he gets more attention for his positive behaviour rather than his misbehaviours, he will be more motivated to do well.

You can discipline your toddler without spanking. By being firm, open-minded and communicative, your toddler will be able to understand you clearly and you will be able to get your message across more effectively.